Yesterday...yikes!

Yesterday was not a pretty day in the life of Mrs Invisible (that would be me). It's hard not being able to concentrate. I've always been able to rely on my mind and my near-photographic memory, but this ridiculous dizziness makes that pretty much non-existent on a bad day...like yesterday. My wonderful hubby always forgets and still acts like I should be my normal chipper self, up to speed on EVERYTHING! So, through no fault of his, I feel completely stupid when he's like "Do you have ...such and such" because I can't even remember to bring my bag downstairs to the car when we're about to go out, let alone the important things. I am determined however to learn to work within this sphere. I am going to figure out ways to limit the chaos and try to be organized enough to reduce the number of things I need to remember. Also I made some 'schedule' guidelines ages ago when Ephraim was a baby (because I couldn't think on half an hour's sleep a night) with morning routines, bedtime routines (for kids and adults), scripture reading, Temple attendance, meal ideas, music lessons, reading and writing and all the other things I need to do with the kids so I think I'll just update it to now and laminate it so I can use it as a memory prompt. I'm also using my diary a lot more. I've always been more of the spontaneous type, but organization, though unnatural for me, is going to be the key coping strategy from now on. I can't even take medication for this because I'm breastfeeding (mostly), and I'm not ready to stop yet.

So yesterday I felt invisible. I would talk or crack a joke (that I was obviously the only one who found it funny) and people would literally act as if I hadn't spoken. I wasn't quiet either! They would just go on their merry way or walk away while I was speaking. The highlight of my day was mothers group in the park. I love talking to other Mum's and I find that just listening to them talk is just nice. I wasn't sure what to do at one point. Savannah hit one of the other kids with a stick and when I went to ask her about it I found out that she was standing up for Ephraim because this kid had been hitting him with a stick. So I wanted to encourage her to stick up for her brother and look after him without condoning violence, specifically hitting kids with sticks in this case. What to do?!!

For the sake of anonymity, I'm going to give my best friend a made up name so I can still mention her. Hmm.....Esther. Yep, Esther was beautiful, compassionate, brave and wise...that suits her perfectly!!! So I got to talk to Esther which always cheers me up simply because I know that she really cares. Nothing about me is stupid to her so I feel completely safe sharing my feelings about anything and it's like exhaling. She is a testimony to me of the pre-existance because we know each other way better than we could just from this life. People change so much in this life; from being an innocent kid, to a rebellious teen, to a beginner Mum, to a grown up. And the way Esther and I know each other is like, something that goes deeper than all that. We've dpopped in and out of contact so many times and always just pick up where we left off, even if we've argued or whatever. Also y'know how they say that twins are connected? We are too. When she had a cesarean, my face got itchy from the morphine. When she was scared I was crying. We always have breakdowns on the same day at the same time without knowing until after and have so many other 'coincidences' in common that I couldn't even list them all. So talking to her on the phone yesterday kept me sane. Then my hubby...I'll call him Enoch...hired some movies so we could have a quiet one together. One of them I just want to say was not very good. It was well done and everything, but using the word 'good's origing or meaning or whatever of 'of God' I would not use the word good for this movie. It had multiple scripture representations or eluding to things and had all the appearance of Gospel parallels but at the end of the world when there were biblically prophesied events going on, in the very end there was a stunning absence. There was no Saviour. 9 parts truth to 1 part lie. It was really obvious to me but that may be because I've just been broadening my understanding on this (how the adversary subtly denies the Christ) of late. It's really disapointing when a movie or story has a good concept but ultimately is a vehicle for a message that is not acceptable. No wonder prophets warn us to be so careful with what we view in the media.

So 'Enoch' made me feel better by just being there and relaxing with me and telling me he loves me! Today has been really nice so far. We've been setting goals together and teaching Savannah the alphabet.